Associate Elsa Nieves
Date of death: May 29, 2006
I was fortunate enough to have been able to visit my longtime friend, Elsa Nieves, three times during her brief, serious illness, both in the hospital and at home in East Harlem, due to my being in NY for various meetings. Elsa was an associate and member of Oasis Community Chapter. I was saddened by Elsa’s death and that I was unable to attend her wake and funeral in NY in mid-May. So, I wrote a letter to her family, which was read at the funeral. Several people have asked me to share it.
May 31, 2006
Dear Joanne, Raquel, and Family,
It is with a sad and yet a grateful heart that I write to you in memory of your dear Mom, Sister, Grandmother and Great Grandmother. Elsa was also my friend for about thirty years. We first met through East Harlem Interfaith where we were part of the Healing Community together. There we learned to tell gospel stories, sharing them within the East Harlem Community and beyond. Peg and Norm Eddy were Elsa’s friends and became mine too. Peg took Elsa and me to their Retreat place upstate where we and others could wander in nature, reflect on life, renew our perspectives and return to the city refreshed, renewed and recommitted. I also met Fr. Tizio and Maria who were also Elsa’s friends and retreat companions.
I lived in Central Harlem with our community of Dominican Sisters and invited Elsa to join us for Monday nights weekly where we had Mass and dinner with our Jesuit priest friends. Elsa also got to know Resurrection House where I worked, attended many events with us there, and eventually joined our Board of Directors, making still more friends and connections.
When I worked on a National Peace-Making Project called The Ribbon, Elsa joined that too, and came with us to Washington, DC We stood together with Resurrection House friends, Vivian and Gertrude and my brother Bill and his family to tie a ribbon around the Pentagon as a reminder to work for peace and not plan for war. Elsa was always where the action was.
When she heard about our community’s Associate Membership program, Elsa knew it was for her and so she joined, faithfully attending meetings, prayer services and trips to Hampton Bays. Sometimes Elsa came to help us sell Appalachian Crafts, other times to bring her “kids” to the beach for some summer fun. Elsa was proud to bring Joanne, Amy and the kids to The Bays, which always meant excitement, good energy and humor to the rest of us.
Elsa always referred to her relationship with us as her “sisters”. Some of us got to know her own sister, Raquel and meet her brother, and gradually we felt a part of the family.
Elsa treasured being part of what she called her “Associateship.” And we treasured her presence among us too. In 1995 our community of sisters began a new relationship with two other Dominican Communities and eventually started small community groups within the larger new Dominican Sisters of Hope. Gradually we invited Elsa to join us and she remained until her death. Elsa was strong and valiant woman. She was often opinionated and stubborn and yet steadfastly committed to her God, her family, and her expanded family of St. Cecelia’s, Grace House, and Dominican Sisters, to name a few. Elsa has known poverty and hardship and yet she was steadfastly resilient, a woman for all seasons. I am grateful to have known her and to call her my sister and friend. Thanks to each of you for sharing her with me and with so many others. May she rest in peace and may each of you take heart in knowing that you were loved fiercely by Elsa. My love to each of you at this difficult, yet mysterious time, of celebrating Elsa’s life and memory among us.
Much peace to each and every one of you.
Bette Ann